A Change of Season
Over the last month, my life has literally taken a 360 degree turn. I was happy, everyone had what they needed in the family, we had food on the table, I was pursuing writing, and encouraging people in the lord. The lord was pouring into me, teaching me, stretching me, and growing my faith and relationship with him.
Then the bomb went off. For about six months now, my dear husband has not felt so well, I couldn’t put a finger on what the problem was, and thought that it was something to do with the cholesterol medication that he takes daily.
Well about a month ago, we discovered that he had developed a lump on the side of his neck. It wasn’t too alarming at first, due to the fact that the kids were getting sick with the flu and we thought it was a gland that was swollen.
After further testing we were referred to a specialist and he diagnosed my husband with Non Hodgkins lymphoma. To say that we were in shock is a vast understatement. It felt like the wind had been blown out of our sails and we were drifting in the vast expanse called Cancer.
The shock turned to tears and then it turned to numbness. The doctor wanted to operate immediately and remove the lump, and we had to not only consent to it, but also we had to prepare ourselves for all that is to come.
We grieved, I have not grieved that hard since my precious parents passed away a number of years ago, we told our children, they too grieved. Then we told our friends and family.
I have to tell you that I was totally unprepared for the outpouring of love, concern, prayer and financial contributions to our household. I was literally blown away by the kindness of the people that God has strategically placed in our lives for such a time as this.
I am so overwhelmed by the love of God, through his children, that my heart is literally bursting. I could almost do a happy dance.
Throughout this time, I have felt the prayers of the people, and have felt the peace of God sweep over myself and my husband. I have also seen that same peace flow into my children, which to me is amazing. Although they grieved alongside us, they have come to realize that God loves them, and he has their dad in the palm of his hand and he will take care of them.
When I was reading my bible this morning, the lord led me to the book of Romans, it is a very familiar book to me, with many inspiring scriptures, but he brought my attention to a few verses that really spoke to my heart.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I felt the lord reassure me that even when I felt overwhelmed by the grief of the diagnosis, the Holy Spirit was interceding on my behalf. Not only on my behalf, but for my children and husband as well. He also reminded me that all of the people he had placed in my life were lifting us up as well. The lord is so faithful and kind, and so very caring to his children.
He then reminded me of a Psalm that he had led us to read this week and it is so appropriate for what he was doing behind the scenes, read this Psalm with me and be encouraged.
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. Selah May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests. Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. O LORD, save the king! Answer us when we call!
Oh the joy and comfort, of knowing that God loves us so very much, that he sends his people to show his practical love, he himself intercedes for us and then he promises us that He will save us, and send us his help from heaven. He reminded me that my trust must be in him, and not on what man, can or cannot do for my husband. The lord is trust worthy and full of power and is more than able to take care of us.
As this journey progresses I know that the lord has many things to teach us, but I know that without a doubt we will learn to trust in the Lord our God in a deeper way than ever before.
My prayer for you today is this, that if you face uncertainty in your future and you feel like the storm is raging higher than you ever thought possible. I want to encourage you to look to God, to allow him to comfort your heart, allow him to show you through his word and the people that he has placed in your life, that he loves you and is trustworthy, regardless of the storm that blows your way.
I realize that we are at the beginning of the journey, but I know that God has given me a confidence that He is in control, that he will lead the way and that we will come to see his love and power through all of this. I wait in eager anticipation for all that he has for me and my family through this.