Chemotherapy without the side effects!

It is hard to even describe the feelings I have inside of me right now, except to say, To God be the Glory for the Good things He has done.

My husband had to start Chemotherapy a week ago, as the lymphoma in his body had become aggressive and taken off; causing multiple tumors to grow in various parts of his body. To say that we were apprehensive and even a little bit fearful about all of this would actually be an understatement, but obediently we went in to the Hospital where they administered the treatment.

A few days before treatment I was praying with my prayer group and the Lord showed my friend a picture of all the side effects that the Doctors would give us, (5 sheets of side effects to expect) and then He showed her as he wiped those side effects away and replaced them with his own. We also felt that it was very important to pray that the drugs would only attack the cancer cells and not affect the rest of his body, as those drugs can play havoc on a person’s system.

When he gave her this picture and she shared it with us, of course I was very thankful but to be honest, not having seen the list that the doctors would give us, I was not sure what to expect.

While at the clinic they gave us the list of possible side effects that we could expect and as I read through them I felt a peace, knowing what God had said about it all. I politely smiled at the nurse as she was giving it to us, thanked her, and tucked it away as I did not want my husband to even read the list of side effects as I felt that we needed to believe God instead of what the doctors said.

When the treatment was done, he felt pretty bad but that was to be expected as they had pumped about 16 different drugs into his system that day.

The next few days were really hard on his body, as the drugs spread out and attacked the cancer. I remembered what the Lord had us pray for him and I continued to ask that the drugs in his system would only be allowed to attack the cancer cells and not be allowed to damage anything else. I praise the Lord for the body of Christ at this time as our friends and their friends were also standing with us in agreement in Prayer for my husband.

After three days in bed, feeling like a truck had run over him, with only one bout of throwing up and a couple days of Nausea, he was out of bed and ready to tackle the world again.

Before this started, I have to admit that I feared the worse, and I was certain that it would be the end of his life, our life together, that I would soon be a widow and my life would be terrible, but God, in his great mercy has faithfully shown himself to us throughout all of this and if you had a look at my husband you would not say that he had chemotherapy a week ago.

He does get a bit tired and needs to rest, but mostly he is able to function very normally.

Friends, I know that without a shadow of a doubt it is God who has performed this great miracle for him, the drugs only do so much, but he looks and his acting healthier than he has in a few years!!!

Yes it is a miracle, and I say, Praise the lord O my soul and all that is within me, Praise His Holy Name!

Another miracle that has taken place is that God has not only been revealing himself to us through the gracious gift of bringing healing to my husband’s body, but he has also been revealing himself to him in all other aspects of his life as well, emotionally and spiritually, giving him insight and a revelation of himself as our father.

Miracles upon Miracles I tell you, it is so amazing to watch my once independent husband, truly bow his knee to God and then to see how God has revealed himself to him. Oh I am so very thankful.

Friends, I want to encourage you to know that you can cry out to God in your distress, regardless of the circumstance and he will answer you, he will meet you were you are at and he will work on your behalf.

At the beginning of this journey the Lord led us to Psalm 20 and I would like to share it with you once again. The essence of this Psalm is this, Trust in the Lord, not in man and when you cry out to God he will hear you and answer, I have found this to be true. God is trustworthy and fully able to work on our behalf.

Psalm 20:1-9

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.  May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.   May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.  May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.   May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests. 

Now this I know: The LORD gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand.

 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.   They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.   LORD, give victory to the king! Answer us when we call! 

When you call out to God he will answer you and you will not be disappointed, trust him today with all that troubles you, I know that you will be amazed at all that he will do on your behalf.



Feeling Vulnerable

Over the past year our lives have changed dramatically. Once we were the typical family, dad rushing off to work, then working way too many hours, mom getting the lunches prepared for the children, getting them off to school, making sure that there was dinner on the table and clean clothes for everyone.

Then we saw the lump, that lump changed all things, it changed our view on life, and what we had once pursued. Stuff no longer held any importance, but relationships did, what was mediocre before now became a passion.

Well the lump was checked out and removed and we had a stay in Execution if you would, a stay of drugs, hospitals, doctors and the rest of the things that would throw your world upside down. Then another lump formed, I had to beg my husband to go in to see the doctor but he refused for almost a month, but I knew that something was wrong, unfortunately he did not want to face the reality.

When I finally did get him to go in and see the doctor the news was bad, multiple tumors had formed that were not there a year ago and further tests needed to be done. So, off we went, from one horrible and painful test to another until the doctor finally said, “The Lymphoma inside of you has transformed into a different aggressive kind and you will need treatment immediately”

Yes, that was not the news that we wanted to hear and to be honest it knocked our socks off a bit, but God who goes before us in all things, had people already praying for us, and throughout the tests and other procedures that my husband has had to endure, God has given us a peace, that truly passes all understanding, a strength that is hard to even explain and even a sense of joy as we walk through this valley of cancer.

My husband had his first treatment on Thursday, it was not the treatment that he wanted, but a stronger form of Chemo therapy, the one with all of the horrible side effects but God, again in his great mercy gave my girlfriends and I some wisdom and insight on praying for him. We asked the Lord to let the drugs do what they were meant to and that he would not have to suffer the debilitating side effects that come with it.

I want to tell you that; yes he has been tired, and yes he has vomited a couple of times, and experienced a little bit of pain, but nothing like the list of possible side effects stated! Our God is amazing!

I know that the reason for such a miracle has been because of prayer; many people from around the world have been praying for him and for the family and I can tell you, prayer most certainly works. God hears us and answers us when we cry out to him whether it is for ourselves or for others. He hears our cries.

I would like to share with you another instance of how great and awesome our God is, I had been praying and asking the lord for provision for the family during this time when my husband is not really up to working. I know that he is our provider but we still need to have faith believing that he will do what he says he will do. Then the other day as my girlfriends and I were praying for the situation, my husband received a call from his boss who told him that he had arranged for my husband to receive full payment of his salary during the duration of his chemo therapy sessions. When he told me I burst into tears, as I was amazed at how God had worked it out and that the provision he had for us was being released. My dear friends, this was such a relief and a burden lifted as we still have bills to pay regardless of the fact that my husband is ill.

I praise the Lord for His great provision and work on our behalf.

Then the lord gave me a little gift in the midst of all of this, I walked into my bedroom and my youngest child was sitting on the bed talking to her dad. Well I thought she was talking to him but in reality she was praying for him and she was full of faith asking the lord for His healing for her daddy.

I nearly broke down in tears, but I was so thankful to the Lord for giving me a little glimpse into the faith of a little child for her dad. Praise the lord!

This journey for us has just begun and I know that along the road there are going to be many different ups and downs and tears and joys, but I am so thankful that right in the beginning of this journey the lord prepared me by telling me that he would never leave nor forsake me. I can count on him to see me through all of it, but not only me but my entire family as well.

I know that each of us will grow, develop and become surer in our faith than what we have ever been before. This is not the kind of journey that I had in mind when I asked the lord to take me deeper with him, but it is the one that we are on and because we are I know that God has many treasures for us along the way, he has many things to teach us and much to develop in each one of us. Therefore I say, to God be the Glory for the great things he has done.

If you think of us in the coming months, please pray as I know that God hears and answers and brings deliverance when we need it most.

Thank you


Fear versus Peace

The Lord revealed a few great truths to me today, one that I hope will help you as you walk with him through the difficult times in your life.

A year ago, my husband of 20 years was diagnosed with non Hodgkins Lymphoma, and at the time they did surgery and we have been on a watch and wait scenario since then. Then about 2 months ago I noticed a lump growing on the side of his neck again and begged him to see the doctor to no avail. He did not want to face what could possibly be months and months of Chemotherapy and all of the nasty things that go with it.

Yesterday, we finally went in to see the Doctor and were given the bad news, the lymphoma had spread and it was time to start treatment. To say that we were in shock and that our world turned upside is pretty much an understatement, but the Lord filled me with his peace all day long and I was able to be a strong shoulder for my dear husband to cry on.

Then today, the Lord I believe showed me a couple of things that have left me feeling once again in awe of Him and His great Mercy and love for us.

He revealed to me, that last year when my husband was first diagnosed I felt like a victim, we all did, like this was a nightmare and we were victims and needed everyone to rush in and rescue us but this year, it is a different story, we no longer feel like victims, but like over comers, able to walk into this with a whole new perspective and having grown stronger in the Lord since then and we are now able to bring His hope to others, instead of just feeling so overwhelmed by it all.

This is a huge growth for us, because when you feel like a victim of your circumstances you are not really able to go forward and overcome the obstacles before you, they become weights to you, things that tie you down and could actually destroy you.

But God!!!!! In his great mercy, has been growing and strengthening us in this walk and now we are way more prepared.

Then the Lord showed me another great revelation that I am most grateful for, I am sure that you have heard many people say to you, that you have to stay positive, you need to have a good attitude as it will help you in all aspects of your life.

Well it is true, if you have a good attitude about life and living you do tend to do better, but it is not what gets you through those deep pits that we sometimes find ourselves in. God alone meets us in those deep pits and gives us hope and a way out with him as our guide.

What if though you are filled with fear about the situation that you find yourself in and it consumes you and gives you no peace, trying to have a good attitude when fear is present is like trying to shore up the hoover dam with a toothpick when it bursts.

When you are faced with a diagnosis such as cancer and all that it implies, the first thing that most people think about is “Oh my Goodness, I am going to die” then the fear really sets in.

Why would we as Christians ever feel fear of dying, which is the ultimate goal is it not, to be like Christ and one day spend eternity with him in heaven. So why do we get scared then of the final outcome of our lives, death?

I believe it is because of two things, unbelief in God and his promises for us and un-confessed sin in our lives.

We know that the bible wants us to be sin free, yet there are things that linger, that hold onto us even after we have believed that Jesus is the Son of God, and asked him to be our Lord and Savior.

It is these un-confessed and enjoyed sins that rise up within us and make us fearful of the end.

That fear brings with it, all of its buddies, doubt, confusion, anger, disillusionment and despair.

I realized that if my husband and I were to walk through the next 6 months of treatments and doctors’ visits and needles and every other thing that is in store for us, we needed to have the peace of God which transcends all understanding.

So the next step was obvious, sin that had been clinging on to us, needed to be confessed and released to the Lord so that He could forgive us and send us times of refreshing .

What a revelation, that if we harbor sin in our hearts the minute we go into a life or death situation we will be tormented by our fears of not actually getting to spend eternity in heaven.

Since we have prayed, both my husband and I have felt more peaceful and felt a greater strength to tackle the unknown road before us.

I am sure that from time to time Fear will come and roar it’s ugly head at us, but we can with all assurance tell it to get lost, because of three key verses in the bible;

1John 1:9

 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness

Romans 8:15

 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to son ship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

1John 4:18

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

My dear friends

If you find yourselves in a place where positive thinking and all other methods of calming yourself down and facing the uncertain future are not helping you, it is time to turn to the Lord.

He is truly the only source of strength and help and peace and comfort out there. All other things, meditation, yoga, repeating things over and over again and any other thing out there meant to bring you inner peace never will.

Only God can, His is called the Prince of Peace

Isaiah 9:6-7

 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.   Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this. 

So, if you find yourself in a situation that you feel is out of your control (which most of every situation is) and you need his peace, examine your heart, repent of any sin that he shows you and watch and see how the Lord will refresh you and give you a new perspective on the situation that you face.

Blessings to you my friends

In Jesus Precious and Holy Name